Confession. I don't study insects and I don't golf but here we are, on a website called Expect Butterflies with a podcast of the same name because (duh duh DUUUUH)...
...I heard an amazing story that inspired me so much I thought about it. A lot. :)
When I heard it I said "THIS is what Law of Attraction is all about!"
It's about how the Universe is always conspiring to help us in all the ways possible.
And there are a lot of possible ways.
I tell it here on the podcast.
Do you want to read it here?
Don't scroll if you want to hear it on the podcast first....
OK..... here comes the story....
I know someone who was a conference where a guy spoke. I'll call the guy who spoke Story Guy because Story Guy was telling a story.
Story Guy had a long-time friend. I'll call the friend Lucky Guy.
Now as you can imagine, Lucky Guy was very lucky. He was the kind of guy who bought a mansion, started to fix it up, got tired of fixing it up and thought to himself wouldn't it be nice if I did something else instead? and just then he hears a noise outside and when he goes outside A HELICOPTER LANDS IN HIS YARD and a man hops out and says "I'd like to buy your house."
Helicopter Guy then he offers Lucky Guy a sale price waaaaay higher that Lucky Guy paid for the house in the first place. He made millions that day.
So, yeah, lucky*
One day Story Guy and Lucky Guy were playing golf. They often did. But Lucky Guy always won. And when I say always I mean ALWAYS.
On this particular day Story Guy was about the faint because he and Lucky Guy were neck-and-neck and it was the last hole. If Lucky Guy missed this shot then Story Guy was going to win. WAS IT POSSIBLE HE WAS GOING TO FINALLY WIN?!
Story Guy was so excited.
Also, Lucky Guy's ball was in a horrible spot. Off the green. In the bush. Somewhere not handy for winning.
So Lucky Guy gets in position and hits his ball. It goes onto the green! It heads towards the hole! It's almost at the hole! It's... it's... it's... stopping. Perched. Hanging on the lip of the hole but not going in.
Oh my gosh, I've won! Story Guy is beside himself with glee.
Just then a butterfly comes out of nowhere, flutters around, lands on Lucky Guy's ball, lifts off and flies away, AND THE BALL FALLS IN THE HOLE.
And that's Law of Attraction in a nutshell.
When you are in alignment with something ALL COOPERATIVE COMPONENTS ASSIST YOU. And the Universe has ALL of the components. Animals. Wind. Heat. Life. People if they are open to their intuition. All of it.
Right when I heard that story I knew I wanted more butterflies in my life.
Not specifically butterflies (although they are awesome) but amazing surprises. And not just surprises, but I wanted to be so in alignment with who I truly am that I wanted to expect butterflies.
Of course a butterfly landed.
I want to expect butterflies.
And I want that for you too.
*lucky = code for aligned
Do you feel lucky? ;)
Do you ever get the urge to do something? An urge that creates movement. Even a small inhalation?
Do you ever get the urge to do something that you want to dismiss? I have the urge to check the pen cup in my office. That's silly and I'm late. I know my pen is running low in my bag but it'll be fine for today.
But what if you go check on the pens? Right next to them is the library book you needed to return. It just so happens you are on your way to the library.
The thing with nudges and your intuition is this: your soul doesn't have language, it has vibration. So it doesn't send you words it sends you a block message; YOU translate the message into thoughts.
Your intuitive thoughts are only as clear as your translation.
That's why, once you start to let them flow in your life, intuitive nudges become a magical connect-the-dots where you feel the urge to check that the stove is off before you leave only to see your earbuds you almost left behind.
And on and on and on.
When you get a nudge, follow it. You'll know it's a nudge if it feels like relief or a positive feeling. You'll know it's a nudge for right now if you feel any movement (even a breath) leading you on.
Acknowledge it. Thank it.
And let your life flow even better than before.
Go ahead and ask for your nudges to be obvious. It makes it easier. If you worry about feeling overwhelmed with intuitive information, try on the mantra I know what I need to know when I need to know it.
Click here if you want to listen to the bite-sized podcast that preceded this post. I give more details. Enjoy!
When I first heard about Law of Attraction in 2005 I wasn't excited. I was angry.
How dare this teaching say everything is my fault? That I did it all to myself! I did NOT have those boyfriends treat me that way on purpose! I did NOT "make" this and this and that happen in my jobs...
But still, I kept on learning about LOA. Why? Because I had tried everything else and I was out of options.
Eventually I found my way out that anger and into acceptance. If I did attract those things (without meaning to) I can attract something different. Seek joy, right?
But what if joy is hard to reach?
That's when I learned the most critical, life-changing thing I've understood about how to apply the Law of Attraction: you can't seek joy until you have relief. (Try to make it a heathy relief if you can.)
With these two points firmly in hand I got traction on my road with Law of Attraction and my life began to change in positive ways.
What were those points again?
1. Accepting that everything that happens to me is because of me. But don't focus on that part if it doesn't feel good, focus on how this means I can change it.
2. You can't seek joy until you have relief. Seek healthy relief on the path to joy.
This was the information in my very first podcast. Listen to it here.
So many people have written about this but let me give you my take on it, since we're here. Hee hee.
THE Law of Attraction is THE ONLY LAW that works across all time-space-realities. The only law that works across every dimension. You cannot escape it.
The LAW of Attraction means it never deviates from what it is. There are no exceptions.
The Law of ATTRACTION means we live in a Universe where like-things get attracted to each other based on their vibrations. Think grouping. Every find yourself gravitating to the same people at parties over and over? Same same. Only now it's everything gravitating towards things. Situations. Events. Happenings. Relationships. States of being. Money. I'm not kidding: I mean everything.
How do you create vibrations? YOU THINK. Your thoughts create vibrations.
How do you know which thoughts are good ones to think? (Meaning: ones that will lead you to what you want?) By how you FEEL.
Your feelings are your SOUL TALKING TO YOU. Because your soul (AKA Inner Being because you can only find it when you go within and when you find it you BE) does not have a mouth. ;) Also, your brain is busy thinking thoughts. So you came to Earth to think thoughts and your Inner Being said "I'll tell you if those thoughts are leading to you to the fulfillment of your dreams through feelings. Thoughts that lead you in the direction you want will feel good and even better. Thoughts that don't will feel not-so-good and even worse."
You get to decide what you think.
EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS TO YOU IS BECAUSE YOUR VIBRATION ATTRACTED IT.
If you change your thinking, you change your life.
This sounds so straight forward until you get out of bed and go about your day.
So there are lots of ways to help a person align with good-feeling thoughts, allow a stronger connection to the Inner Being, hear, understand, and act on intuition, and let themselves be who they are and let go of who they are not.
There are ways to walk through relationships so that you have the best of both worlds - a fantastic vibrational (spiritual, big-picture) alignment and loads of Earth Fun like, you know, laughing and playing and having a blast. Doing things that fulfill you. Getting things done.
There are a million and counting conversations about Law of Attraction and how to live an aligned life.
It's about not fighting the contrast you get (and even celebrating it for what it gives you which is clarity.)
It's about tuning towards what you KNOW to be true and feeling the courage to do it.
And it's about getting that courage through having a super-strong connection to WHO YOU TRULY ARE.
So strong a connection it survives the morning commute. ;)
You were born knowing all of this.
I love to help you remember.
This is one of the most profound parenting principles there is:
Don't introduce resistance into their vibration.
A dream is a beautiful, powerful thing. The thought of something wanted is the first step towards allowing it into your life. An inspired idea, so beautiful and pure, and so filled with potential, has no resistance.
"I want to meet Santa Claus", the child says, all dewey with bright eyes.
Our parental instinct might be to help them see reality. To help them not to be disappointed. "Well... honey.... Santa Claus is very busy."
What then does the child think? Santa Claus is too busy to care? Too busy to make a dream come true? Or is it just them - Santa is just too busy for them?
What happens if, instead, we stop trying to make sure they are OK (from our fear-based place) and instead we joined them in their dream?
Imagine stepping into the beatiful bubble they have created in their imagination and meeting them there, in joy and wonder.
"Do you think he would come alone or would he bring some elves?"
What a wonderful discussion you could have! Does Santa always wear his red suit, or does he have casual Fridays?
Maybe your young child wants to swim with dolphins.
The parenting reaction might be:
That is the time to pause.
Even if your intentions were good, has your heart closed in fear? Fear of them having a dream they can't realize? Fear of them being disappointed? Fear of you having trouble laid upon your head in the form of whining, begging, cajoling or crying?
Instead, picture that bubble of joy they are in. Join them there, in that dream. Look around. (You are just in your imagination so you can make it up as you go.)
Wow. It is very beautiful in here.
This is magical! See the waves splashing in the pool. Feel the dolphin's body as you hold onto her while she swims. Laugh while she pushes you around with her nose.
What a fun talk you can have!
"What would you do first? Would you hug the dolphin or splash her and see if she splashes back?"
Magical connection happens when we daydream together.
But what if the discussion turns to actual reality? Your child looks up at you and asks, "Will you arrange for me to swim with one? Now?"
Now you proceed with an open-hearted conversation. One where you only promise or do what feels in integrity to you.
Take it a step at a time.
"Honey, I did some research and there is a place you can swim with dolphins. It's 1,000 miles away and I'm not comfortable planning a trip there this year."
That might be the end of the discussion. Your child might say "OK!" and go about their business. But if they press, you can explain again how the Universe works:
"I am only one person. And while I do get a lot of things for you because I am your parent, I am just one part of the big, huge Universe. The Universe is everything. The Universe always say 'yes'. I will keep picturing your dream with you, and if it feels right for me to do something, I will. But you don't need me to make your dreams come true. You only need you and You. (That big part of you that is always holding hands with the Universe.) You already said what you want. Now your job is to keep picturing what you want, and why you want it, if it makes you happy. Or, you can just go about your day and play. The Universe never forgets."
Join your child in their dreams big and small.
"Can I knock and see if the neighbors are home to play?"
"Can I get a pumpkin to carve the size of our house?"
"It's a school night" becomes: "Oooh! Tell me how you will play and get done all you need to get done tonight."
"They don't make pumpkins that big" becomes: "Would you make it a funny pumpkin, or a scary pumpkin? I know! Would you carve it into a house and live in it overnight for a Halloween sleepover?"
Of course there are times for a simple "not tonight" or "they don't make them that size", but when you add the intent to support them in their dreams two things happen:
1. They continue to blossom and live in a world of possibility.
2. And you don't feel like the keeper of NO.
A real dream come true.
Is more than one person in the room cranky pants at the same time?
Here is one way I shift it, fast!
Sometimes only one of is is off-kilter.
When that happens the happy people usually ignore them and go about their merry way. Sometimes the prevailing joy in the room laughs cranky pants back into happy land. Sometimes the cranky one will go off for some alone time to recharge, reflect, and get back in the groove.
But when more than one person is not connected? And we are all together? That is a recipe for bickering and ick.
It often starts off subtly.
So subtle you don't know it's there.
A "no" here. A half-ask-half-order for something. But soon it starts to degrade. The air gets heavy. Gloves are off. "I TOLD you not to do that!" and "Mom! She..." I jump in with my lemon-pinched face and start to micromanage.
Then it hits me. Oh!
I see it.
I decide I don't want it.
And I take a big breath and shout out, "Who has the vibration in the room?"
"Me!", says the happiest person, beaming, their hand waving high in the air.
"Them," says everyone else, pointing at that shiny, happy person who is waving their hand in the air, beaming.
From there we know what to do. We follow them. We make a conscious choice to match the frequency of their energy instead of our own. My kids know this. I repeat it to them often enough: "Like energy attracts. So if you are cranky and they are not, either you both have to end up cranky, you both have to end up happy, or you have to separate to stay where you are. Which one would you prefer?"
"Who has the highest vibration in the room?" is a reminder that since we are all eating breakfast together, or in the car together, or on an outing together... we get to decide if we want to keep fighting the happy person or start joining the happy person.
I haven't seen a time yet where we decided not to join in.
It's eye opening.
When we play this "follow the leader game" the bummed-out people usually blush when they realize what's been going on. Or nod. Or apologize. Negativity often wants to justify itself. It wants to fight to exist. So if it's around a happy person it will battle with both fists. Happy person makes a joke? Cranky person gets offended. Happy person accidentally bumps cranky person? Cranky person gets all miffed. Happy person doesn't even NOTICE something... that cranky person is all up in arms about.
We realize that we have been beating down the happy. Popping all of the pretty bubbles. Oops.
So, who has the highest vibration in the room?
It's not a contest. We don't keep track. And we don't feel jealous, either. We feel relieved when we all find our way again the way we like it: happy together.
What if you are reading the story Cinderella and your little one asks, "Mommy, why are Cinderella's step-sisters so mean?"
How do you explain this to child?
"Because some people are mean" doesn't work. Not with Law of Attraction. Some people may act mean, but no one is born mean.
The answer actually very simple really, when answered with the basis of Law of Attraction and all of the teachings of "Love Is All There Is" on the planet from time immemorial.
"They are mean, honey, because they aren't loving themselves. They aren't connected to their Source. That's why they feel bad and act mean."
There is only love and we are either allowing it or pinching it off. Everything we feel or do is in relationship to that.
Some time later, when someone was complaining about mean old Captain Hook from Peter Pan your child may look at you and say, "He just doesn't love himself".
When it comes to the simple truths, kids always get it.
Everyone is "good" when they are connected. It doesn't mean we want to be around them when they are "mean", but it does remind us all that love really is all there is.
That's a nice world to grow up in, I think.
If you try this little technique (it only takes a few minutes, max) it will make your outings with kids - of any age - easier, or more relaxing, or more fun, or more in the flow than ever before.
What is it this technique?
I'll tell you!
Set your intent.
Your brain will look for what you tell it to. Unless you don't tell it anything, in which case it will look at what IS. If you love what is, you're golden. If you are late, frazzled, frustrated, faced with untied shoes, someone-forgot-their-water, and other things that hassle you then, well, not so golden. More of a tarnished, rusty color. Covered in dirt. Like your kid dug it up in the backyard with one of your good spoons.
So... tell your brain what to focus on!
We do this out loud in my car. For example, if I am taking the kids to the Aquarium I might say, "My intent is to bring my Inner Being with me. To flow. To feel like the Universe is organizing everything easily for my benefit. To see love. To feel love. And to enjoy my amazing kids, And So It Is."
Everyone repeats, "And So It Is."
We say "And So It Is" so that we know when someone is finished. This way each person has time to think about what they want, listen to their intuition, and say it all without interruptions, even if they pause in between sentences for some time.
And we repeat "And So It Is" because it's our way of saying, "I support you in your intent. Yay!"
We take turns, but not in order. They call it Popcorn Style. "Anyone want to go next?"
And no one is required to set an intent or is shamed for not setting one. Ever. It really, truly is optional.
Sometimes my intent is short.
"My intent is to laugh out loud and have a blast!"
Sometimes my intent is aimed at calm.
"My intent is to feel relaxed."
Sometimes I don't know what exactly to ask for, so I intend how I want to feel when it is over.
"My intent is that I come home feeling amazing, reconnected, and rejuvenated, and totally in love with my family and life."
I use this setting intent process to gage where I am, to hear what my own needs are, and to choose what I want to attract and experience and feel throughout my outing whether it's a trip to the park, a family birthday party, or the zoo.
Do we set intent every time?
No. Not every time. Because for me, "every time" feels like a chore.
We set intent when I feel inspired to. When I can tell we need to redirect our focus (read: people are cranky or fussy) or when we are going on a long trip or Big Outing and I, for one, need to keep my ducks in a row because when mom's ducks are not in a row, it gets really quacky.
Sometimes one of the kids will pipe up, "Mom! We need to set our intent!" They know what's what. They really do.
Not only will setting intent in the car help your outings go more smoothly, it's fun to hear what your child/ren come up with. Plus, it feels so good to see them set their intent to be happy, healthy, and loving.
I don't know about you, but that makes me do a little dance in my bucket seat.